The "You can't fix stupid" thread

[Ben Mazur]

OK, we have probably all done something stupid while racing or running an offshore powerboat. What's your tale of woe?

I'll start. We were doing what was known as a 'Start Boating' Event. Our nice little Velocity 26 with twin small blocks was attracting a lot of attention and we had a nice heavy piece of plexiglass describing the boat over the front deck attached with bungee cords. It was our first run of the day with excited newcomers in the rear bolsters thoroughly enjoying themselves. At about 60 mph the plexiglass panel which I had forgotten to remove decided it was bored on the deck and thought it would be a good time to remove itself, splinter and aquaint itself more intimately with the driver (me).

I'm not sure if sure if I (the near decapitated bloody nosed driver) was the best advertisement for offshore powerboating that particular day.

I'm sure I'll think of many more stupid things that I have done but that is the first that comes to mind.

[ciao]

Round the Island* 1988. I was driving a two litre cat in millpond conditions and running third with loads of speed in hand.

Dad (my navigator) and I always followed other boats because neither of us could find our way out of a paper bag, let alone a race mark.

We got to St. Catherine's Point and it was make your mind up time - who do we follow, Tracy Clarke or Tony Jenvy?

Suffice to say that Tony and I ended up in Chichester!

Eventually finished the race with the 1.3 L boys last in class 18th. I think Tony ran out of fuel!!!!)

Dad and I didn't speak to each other for at least a week after, he then said "never again" and was true to his word - he has never raced again.

The next race, with a new navigator in stock, now following Tracy in second place rolled the boat on a turn mark. (the first turn!!)

Got myself discharged from Southampton General, whilst Neil Holmes rebuilt the engine into the small hours, and my mates re-rigged the boat.

Raced in Guernsey 4 days later -120 mile race in rough conditions.

Running in 5th place after 100 miles at the bottom of the island, doing about 20mph - put the thing into a wall of water. Rescued by a fishing trawler eventually, took us another 3 hours to get back to the pits due to tide/ sea conditions/ lack of power on trawler.

Spent that night recovering from hypothermia, which hadn't been helped by the drugs I had been taking for my injuries from the Southampton race.





*Isle of wight UK

[Ben Mazur]

This one is not about me but rather a close friend visiting us a few months ago.

We decided it was a nice day for a boat cruise and he asked me about the engines of course. His question, "are they V4s?"

This is what he was looking at as he asked the question.